Day 10 - How Big Do you Dare To Dream

What does it mean to have DREAMS?

What do we need to make our DREAMS come true?

"Why do you keep writing DREAMS in capitals, Christine?"

...I imagine you're wondering. 

Dreaming is Easy

From childhood, we're asked:

• "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
• "Describe your dream wedding!""
• What's your dream job?"

Dreaming is easy. We're conditioned to dream. We are not, however, conditioned to realise our dreams. In fact, quite the opposite.

• "I want to be a movie star."
• "I'm going to get married in a Viking ship on the Caribbean."
• "I dream of being a world-renowned author."

"Don't be silly! Most writers don't make any money."

"But you told me I could be anything I dreamed of."

"Of course you can! As long as it's a realistic dream,"

...is the response most people hear.

What happens?

We keep on dreaming but learn that taking the steps to realise our dreams is unrealistic. So we stay in toxic jobs; work to line other people's pockets; grind the 9 - 5 until 9 PM and swing loose at the weekends.

Then it becomes too scary to even think of realising a dream.The fear of uncertainty, lack of job security, ridicule and disbelief weighs too heavily against the desire to realise the dream.Thus, most people stay stuck.

Permission to DREAM...

I'm very lucky to have had a mother who encouraged me to dream. Yes, I was raised in the behaviours of the "accomplished woman" Jane Austen's Miss Bingley defined...

“A woman must have a thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing, dancing, and the modern languages, to deserve the word; and besides all this, she must possess a certain something in her air and manner of walking, the tone of her voice, her address and expressions, or the word will be but half-deserved.”

Yes, I was conditioned to believe that to be "successful" a person needed a college degree, career title of status, and high-paying salary.

Yes, I did allow my young adult self to get sucked into working towards achieving that "success" after a period of time living my dreams.

And that's when it all started to go wrong!

I had a budding career as an English language teacher, with wonderful colleagues and students at Kaplan International. As a founding member of ELT Ireland, I was building a network and making a name for myself around Ireland and further afield. I was fit, healthy and fun-loving, at the same time as being, so a former student told me on a call not long ago..."focused, disciplined and brilliant."

Then I gave it all up to chase a "dream," a conditioned belief that I should be working on the business side of things where I could be more "successful." Just like Santiago in Paulo Coelho's The Alchemist, my all-time favourite book, I went searching for my treasure when it was right under my nose all the time.

I first read the Alchemist when I was 22. From then on, I followed the omens, moving from city to city, country to country, job to job. When I decided to leave teaching, do a business Master's and work in sales, my life became very difficult for a number of years. But that doesn't necessarily mean it wasn't the right direction to take.

I built new networks, developed new relationships, and learned a lot of lessons. What was the most important lesson? How to reject what was toxic and keep following my dreams.

After 4 years running multi-million euro partner portfolios, flipping Net Promoter Scores from low minuses to high plusses (with my colleagues of course), and being offered what most can only dream of - an open contract: my choice of hours, my choice of days, my choice of salary...I said no and went back to teaching.

The day I said no to that offer, I felt sick. Until the person who made the offer didn't even afford me the courtesy of a response to say they understood or respected my decision. In that moment, I knew I'd made the right one.

Today, I've almost come full circle.

At 7 years old, my Mum became my Speech & Drama teacher, training me all the way up to my Teaching Diploma. Now, I've built an online platform of my own masterclasses. Over 18 hours of online audio and video content on English pronunciation and public speaking, blended with the fascinating world of neuroscience and confidence. It's all of my training theory, and more, and I haven't even hosted half of what I've got!

I'm still dreaming of my podcast and blog becoming successful, my book being published and becoming the alternative to Toastmasters. Why? My biggest dream is to rid as many people in the world as possible of irrational fear. The fear society, culture and life experience conditions into us. 

They're big dreams! But why dream small? 

How To Realise Your DREAMS?

First, give yourself permission. As an adult, you get to choose who controls your thoughts, actions, behaviours... your life! Once you've decided to allow yourself to dream again, take yourself off on a journey.

This is why I kept writing DREAMS in capitals. To achieve your DREAMS, you need:

1. Desire

• Visualise yourself in the future. One year from now, for example.

• Imagine how you feel, for instance, standing in front of an audience, at an event, or in a meeting. Create the sensation of desire.

• Listen to yourself speaking. Watch your communication mannerisms.

What's different about how you speak and communicate now to in a year’s time?

2. Realism

• Make it real! Let that future-self feeling resonate right to your core.

• If it feels different, maybe even uncomfortable, it's working!

How do those differences feel?

3. Enthusiasm

• Get excited!

• Tell someone who will be excited for you, even if it’s the “mirror you," your pet, or a phone recording you send to yourself, about your visualisation.

What excites you about the changes?

4. Action

• If you want the life you’ve always had, keep doing the things you’ve always done...if not, do something different.

• Start working backwards. Imagine the steps you took to get to that future point. Create an action plan. Then start small.

What one action can you take today to start creating the change? 

5. Mindset

• Acknowledge that you’ll have off days, especially if you’re tired or under pressure at work.

• Confidence rebounds all the time. The brain tries to keep us safe. It will try to convince you not to change, that what you’re doing is a bad idea.

• When this happens, share with your tribe, or, if you're a member of the online platform, comment under the goal-setting module and I'll respond. 

• Take some time to write down how you feel on off days. Acknowledge the feelings.

• Get curious about them. Reframe their reality.

Put attitude-shifting statements on your phone or on sticky notes to remind you of what you want to achieve and your capacity to achieve it!

6. Spacing

• Redevelopment takes time and repetition. New habits take time to become embedded. Not necessarily 21 or 60, or 90 days like “experts” often say. 

• Repetition, interest, and desire are key, spaced out over time.

• Allow time to apply the techniques, notice how you feel, repeat and reflect. 

Suddenly, you’ll find you’re doing it! 

Realising your DREAMS requires...

1. Desire 
2. Realism 
3. Enthusiasm
4. Action
5. Mindset 
6. Spacing

When you take ownership of your life, your personal and professional development, you take control of your direction.

It starts with believing you can.

You can start today. Subscribe to the blog to download your free PDF "10 Ways to Commit to Your Goals."